"To err is human, but to repair is divine”
– John Gottman, Gottman Institute
Limerance is that stage of falling in love when the world is sweet and hope stretches eternal. It is a time when the longing for another is acute and we yearn for our emotional connection to be reciprocated and welcomed by our partner. We fall deeply into beautiful thoughts, fantasies and start making long-term plans because deep inside we know this one is “the one”.
Research has shown that this state of emotional infatuation and obsession generally lasts up to three to four years. To establish a healthy, “true” love state a couple need to recognize that chemistry alone is not enough to promote the kind of stability that supports a long-term viable relationship. Satisfaction for each person in the partnership is achieved only when both people are equally invested in developing and maintaining a creative, enthusiastic and deep emotional connection.
Such a bonding can occasionally be maintained without a lot of conscious effort; but this would be rare. Research over 40 years exploring the characteristics of “successful” (i.e., satisfied and content) couples finds that rapport, friendship, fondness, respect and admiration are foundational to the good health of a relationship.
As is true of acquiring any type of skill, whether that is professional, sporting or artistic, being a “good” partner requires dedication, practice and insight. Doley Psychology Services offers a range of fun, innovative and informative workshops designed to offer you and your partner the opportunity to enhance your friendship and deepen your connection. Participation will enable you to understand the pathway to sustained and lasting love built on mutual admiration and respect. Working to support the other’s dreams and creating a vision for you both as partners is integral to successful relationships.
"If I had to summarize forty years of research into one sentence it would be ‘when you’re hurting, baby, the world stops, and I listen’ ”
– John Gottman, Gottman Institute
Research shows that to make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes for the future.
Doley Psychology Services offers couples counselling using the principles of the highly researched Gottman Method (https://www.gottman.com/about-gottman-method-couples-therapy/), as well as a range of techniques from other evidence-based approaches, such as Emotion Focused Therapy, Schema Therapy and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
Counselling works best when it is frequent, regular and consistent. For couples who find the concept of weekly or fortnightly sessions challenging, or for whom weekly sessions are not logistically feasible, Doley Psychology Services offers an intensive treatment option in the form of Marathon Couples Therapy.
Marathon Couples Counselling
Marathon Therapy provides a couple with 12 to 18 hours of couples therapy over 2 to 3 consecutive days, followed up with three individual hour long sessions in subsequent weeks. This mode of intensive therapy is particularly recommended for couples in crisis or on the brink of separation or divorce.
Having time to unpack the issues, rebuild trust and intimacy, and the opportunity to share and practice new skills is essential. Marathon Therapy capitalizes on the dynamic generated by early enthusiasm and motivation impacting growth in a relationship, followed by a gradual decrease in the intensity of therapeutic intervention as positive signs of change are recognized.
Turbo-charging your relationship – Creating the relationship you want
For committed couples who wish to learn more about how to repair and enrich their relationship, Doley Psychology Services offers couple’s enrichment workshops. These programs are based on the Sound Relationship House model developed by the Gottmans and tested through their 40 years of research with more than 3000 couples.
Doley Psychology Services offers several workshops suitable for couples who are seeking to repair and enhance their connection. Our couples enrichment programs offer an evidence-based approach for couples to help their relationship repair, grow, and thrive.
Making Relationships Work – Repair and enrichment workshop for couples
Many couples just “go through the motions”, without realising that their relationship is lacking in intimacy and friendship. Some relationships have simply lost their spark and their passion. Based on over 40 years of couples research, Dr. John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman have developed an approach that not only supports and repairs troubled marriages and committed relationships, but also strengthens happy ones. The 7 Principles Program is designed specifically for couples, who are interested in re-igniting the spark – improving intimacy and friendship in your relationship and help you manage conflict in a healthy, positive way.
This training is designed for ALL couples in a committed relationship. It is conducted in groups of no more than 10 couples and does NOT involve any awkward sharing!
If you have a strong relationship, this workshop will provide you with insights and tools to foster further closeness, friendship, and trust. If your relationship is in trouble, this two-day workshop will provide you with a greater understanding of your relationship and a road map for repair. All work is done as a couple, and trained therapists are available to support one-on-one during exercises.
The 7 Principles Program is shown to achieve results similar to six months of marital therapy, and produces positive results for 86% of those who actively participate. Note that this workshop is not designed to be a substitute for couples therapy.
Doley Psychology Services offers the 7 Principles Program in a range of formats including:
- Road-worthy Check-up: An overview of the key 7 Principlesconcepts will be provided in this four hour seminar.
- Complete 7 Principles Workshop: Presented as a two day intensive workshop.
- R & R – Retreat and Repair: The comprehensive 7 Principles Program presented as a two day intensive couples' retreats at luxurious resorts in Queensland, Australia. This option is offered for couples who want to intensify the intervention by utilizing a mini-break to refresh and reset their most intimate and romantic partnership.
A Roadmap for the Journey – Workshop for couples impacted by addiction
Has your relationship been impacted by addiction? Addictions can include:
- Compulsive eating
A Roadmap for the Journey is a research-based workshop designed to address the specific challenges often faced by those whose relationship has been affected by addiction. Whether one or both of you are in recovery from alcohol, drugs and/or behavioural addictions, this workshop will provide direction for your journey to couple recovery, supporting the relationship as well as the needs of each individual partner.
This workshop is for couples with one or both partners in early recovery (at least six months of sobriety) as well as for couples with long-term sobriety.
If you have questions about your individual situation please contact us, as we can evaluate on a case-by-case basis.
(Note: This workshop is not intended for couples in active addiction. For people seeking support and services relating to alcohol and other drug addictions see the useful links provided here: http://www.adin.com.au/help-support-services)
Bringing Baby Home – Workshop for new parents
Even the best relationships can become strained when two become three. This research-based workshop, developed by Drs John and Julie Gottman, helps to prepare you for the most important and rewarding job you will ever have: raising a child. Parenting resources are often helpful, the internet abounds with good advice, yet new parents are often overwhelmed with all of the information available. Busy with the logistic and pragmatic issues, some parents forget to factor in preparation for the impact on their relationship that a new addition to the family inevitably involves. Relevant to parents bringing home their first new-born, or new parents generally, this workshop offers practical and achievable strategies to help you manage the demands of a new child to the household, while keeping your connection as a couple strong and healthy.